The County Chronicle

The online newspaper for Loudoun County High School

The County Chronicle

The County Chronicle

Weather forecast and conditions for Loudoun County High School

Weather forecast and conditions for Loudoun County High School

Sophia Casciano, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

Hello, this is Sophia Casciano, reporting from Loudoun County High School in Leesburg, VA. And now, students and staff, for the forecast of the day. Today is a rather inconsistent weather day. If you are...

Students in a crowded hallway wait at a newly installed traffic light during a class change. Traffic lights were installed after a record number of hallwayway collisions last month, causing a variety of disturbances to the school environment.

Traffic lights installed in hallways after record collisions last month

Evelyn Kuzminski, Editor-in-chief April 1, 2024

February saw a record number of hallway collisions, resulting in an overabundance of tardies, disciplinary action, and peer drama. In an attempt to reduce these interruptions, traffic lights have been...

A water fountain on the second floor is closed off, as the water is not currently safe for drinking. After a
recent illness that spread, swiftly, throughout the entire school, health specialists have taken the matter into
their own hands, and are currently investigating the cause of this virus.

The Fool’s disease rapidly takes over the school

Karan Singh, Business Manager April 1, 2024

Parents are being advised to send bottled water or water from home with their children as the county health and weird diseases department has ordered all school water fountains closed down. Local health...

Happy AI participates in class with its fellow students.

Anti-AI outlooks prove themselves to be baseless (satire)

Berek Harrison, Managing Editor April 1, 2024

Students like you and me love learning. We love school and technology and putting in effort to get stuff done. But this delicate peace may have been broken by criticism of shocking new technology. Some...

Goofitz quickly snapped a picture of some pterodactyls before almost getting eaten by a tyrannosaurus. Picture by Carter Goofitz.

Elevator Time Travel – Forbidden Elevator Reveals Secrets From The Past (satire)

Cat Pizzarello, Editor-in-chief April 1, 2024

It’s a bird! No, it's a plane! Actually, it’s the magic elevator at Loudoun County High School!  Since the installation, students have been prohibited from riding in the elevator at school. Teachers...

Savannah steadily grows in locker rooms (satire)

Scarlett Ashford, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

Students report locker rooms being transformed into a savannah-like ecosystem, fully equipped with grass, dirty, and a humid climate.  “We all knew the locker rooms were dirty, but this is ridiculous,”...

Melinda Shingler attempts to coax a wasp out of the library during her planning block. Despite efforts, the wasp remained in the school and attacked several students as they tried to check out books from the library.

Wasps and mice and skunks oh my! (April Fools Edition)

Courtlyn Armstrong, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

The hallways are filled with stings, swings, and sounds of students running for their lives as the animals take over Loudoun County.  Animals ranging from insects like wasps to furry critters like...

Taylor Swift at her audition for the position with her Bejeweled top performing one of her recent songs from her new Midnights album. Swift was invited back to the Central Office building for a second time due to her outstanding performance and favorability from the School Board Members. Photo by AI Generated Staple Diffusion.

New public information officer auditionees take the stage!

Cat Pizzarello, Managing Editor March 30, 2023

Are you a good speaker? Quick to your feet and ready to make speedy decisions? Popular amongst the kids these days? Then you might consider auditioning to be the new public information officer for Loudoun...

Junior Casper Phillips studies an extensive slide including topics that will be tested on the AP Exam Taking exam. The exam has been described as “the crown jewel of APs” by College Board executive William Yale, and will include content and skills from all other AP courses, culminating in a final exam that will primarily test students’ memorization and critical thinking skills. Photo by Evelyn Kuzminski.

College Board introduces new AP class: AP Exam Taking

Evelyn Kuzminski, Layout Editor March 30, 2023

 A new class has joined the hoard of over three dozen AP courses available to high school students across the country: AP Advanced Placement Exam Taking. The curriculum for this new class will include...

Students and zombies participate in an impromptu race to lighten the dreary mood.

A push for school closure after zombie outbreak

Berek Harrison and Ethan Kopp March 30, 2023

Parents were worried after students never came home last Wednesday, especially since earlier that day students had texted home pictures of strange military trucks outside of the school. “After the trucks...

One of the many posters that were created in support of the petition to bring Stark back to life. Not only were these put up around schools all over the county, but they were also blasted across social media. Photo by Olivia DeWan.

Marvel’s beloved hero Tony Stark confirmed resurrection for phase five

Olivia DeWan, Editor-in-Chief March 30, 2023

It would be an understatement to say that Marvel fans everywhere were devastated by Tony Stark’s death in Avengers: EndGame. The entire fanbase grieved for months before somewhat coming to terms with...

Newly elected president dissolves student council and declares national emergency

Kelsan Giamporcaro, guest writer March 28, 2023

In a surprising turn of events, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in the 68-year history of this school, newly elected class president Joey Steelman has declared a national emergency and dissolved...

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