On a personal and true-to-self record, Conan Gray has come face to face with his magnum opus: Wishbone, an album that feels natural and well-formed, sewn together by threads of raw honesty and unforgiving desperation. It is evident that Gray has matured in both his life and his songwriting.
Taking on the persona of a sailor boy, this album follows a theme of luck and happenstance, weaving serendipity into layers of melancholy in each of its tracks.
“I think the album is more me than any I’ve ever made before,” Gray said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. “I think that was mostly a result of growing up a bit…each year you’re truly a completely, immeasurably different person.”
Though personal growth and development are inevitable, how they impact relationships depends on the person, themselves. On an album sparked by love, how this growth impacted Gray’s relationship is placed on full display.
Gray’s wishbone has broken into two and it’s clear that he holds the short end of the stick.
Actor
A steady and simple guitar brings this world to life as Gray recalls a summer spent “in a coat check.” Gray is reminiscing on shared memories with his significant other that clearly held value for him. Upon hearing the chorus, however, it is clear that this relationship no longer exists.
“You’ve spent the summer drinking,” Gray cries, “while I spent it being erased.” He reveals how difficult life has become for him as he attempts to forget all the complex feelings attached with his lover’s departure: “Let’s pretend nothing happened… but you’re a much better actor than me.”
I first heard a snippet of this song on Instagram, when Gray was promoting his album before its release. To say that I was shocked and in awe would be an understatement; I’d never heard Gray sound so vulnerable and clear. It’s something about the way the chorus builds and then immediately diminishes, such as the relationship Gray is referring to in the song, that is just so satisfying to hear.
This Song
The orchestra plays as a nostalgic guitar flow through this track; Gray is living in the past, a time that is utterly different from his present. Again, such a different production for a Conan Gray song, and I can’t say I hate it.
“You know that I love you,” Gray begins. “I have a feeling that you love me back.”
Two simple sentences. That’s all it takes to understand the purpose of this song. Gray is lost in the endlessly beautiful corridors and hallways of this love, a maze that has fully captured his whole being.
“I wrote this song about you,” Gray admits as he lists casual things they did: driving around neighborhoods, listening to music that evokes certain emotions, and “the smell of perfume,” things that, as normal as they seem, defined this relationship for Gray and created an atmosphere of belonging and safety for him.
Romeo
“Romeo” is a nod to Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet. With drums and vocals that seem almost happy, upon further glance, the lyrics on this track are actually very dark. Gray admits that he waited for his lover (possibly to love him back) for a long time.
The song’s theme of impatience takes inspiration from the play, as Juliet waited for Romeo in a similar way.
In this track, though still sour and sad, Gray says, “you’re no Romeo,” signifying that his lover did not mean nearly as much to him as he thought he did. Paying homage to the play yet again, Gray asks “where art thou?” As the song comes to an end, Gray confesses that he simply did not care enough about this relationship (maybe in a satirical way because he did end up writing a whole album about it), and says: “I can’t fix you.”
My World
For me, this is one of the most important songs on the album, as it directly follows the storyline of the previous track and explores some very valuable themes. This track feels like a breakthrough moment, freedom that is found once we stop placing prestige on things that no longer matter. Gray states: “It’s my world and it’s my life. I’ll waste it how I might like.”
Along with lessons of letting go, this song explores a deeper message: “It’s my girl and it’s my guy. I’ll kiss ‘em if I might like.”
As an LGBTQ+ artist, Gray uses this song to speak volumes on the equality everyone deserves, regardless of their race, sexuality, background, or religion.
In regards to the album, it seems as if Gray has shifted from longing for something that should be left in the past, and grown into a more mature and newer version of himself. When reflecting on these past events, he makes it clear that they don’t matter to him: “I don’t care anymore.”
Class Clown
With a shift from the previous track, Gray is transported to his high school days; he can’t seem to escape the younger version of himself, especially when experiencing the obstacles and lows in his life.
Gray notes that “everything comes back around,” that he “still feels like the class clown,” referring to the high emotions one feels during their younger years, when everything is still so brand new and temporary.
Nauseous
Here, the album takes a mellow and somber turn, something that has been building up for the last few tracks as Gray finds himself returning to thoughts of this same lover. He understands how hard it is to truly let go: “Your love is a threat, and I’m nauseous.”
This was my favorite song when I first heard the album. I never expected such a vocally layered moment during the chorus, especially when taking note of the laid back production of the verses. And then you have the scream/yell during the bridge, when Gray is questioning his ability to actually provide love and kindness to the world around him, that solidifies this song’s prestige for me.
Caramel
Another pivotal moment on the album, this record takes, yet again, another turn. The heavy production, drums, and rock star energy returns in a surprising manner, a shocker the first time I heard this album.
“Caramel,” along with “This Song” and “Vodka Cranberry,” form the “Wishbone trilogy” of singles. All three songs are accompanied by a music video, which, once put together, tell the story of two characters named Wilson and Brando and their summer romance.
In “This Song,” the boys spend the summer together, exploring their relationship and ultimately falling in love. “Vodka Cranberry” illustrates the growing conflicts the couple faces, in which Wilson leaves Brando while he’s asleep and seemingly ends the relationship. “Caramel” concludes the trilogy by highlighting Wilson’s attachment issues and life following the breakup.
Connell
This is the saddest song on the album. With full and well-formed lyrics, “Connell” is a desperate cry for help and a sudden wave of nostalgia, as portrayed by the stripped back production and guitar during the first half of the song. Upon analyzing the lyrics of this track, the red flags of this relationship become evident, as Gray begins to belittle himself and beat himself up due to the breakup: “You remind me of how good it feels to hurt…of how little I deserve.”
But then, Gray experiences a mental breakdown when he begins to repeat the name “Connell” over and over again. The production switches immediately, with clothed drums making it seem as if the listener is continuously falling. On tour, fans have started to call this part of the song the “Connell crashout,” as Gray physically falls to the floor while performing the track on stage.
Sunset Tower
Following his (very valid) crashout, Gray is done with these negative thoughts. Speaking directly to his now ex, Gray states, “if you’re out here doing well, don’t tell me.” He creates the idea that no matter how separate and far apart the two are following their relationship, there will always be a part of him that stays in love with this person, an idea that is later explored in the album’s final track.
Gray knows that his ex has successfully moved on, and he is envious of that: “It’s easier to let it go than face it that you’re letting go.”
Eleven Eleven
Though this album does not have one of its own, I view this song as the “acting title track.” For me, this track is a culmination of all the ideas, metaphors, and concepts of the album. Throughout the song, Gray references shooting stars, signs, clovers, “numbers from Heaven,” horoscopes, “salt spilling over,” black cats, broken glass, and cracks on the pavement. These are all things that are believed to be superstitious and their interpretations vary from person to person.
On an album titled “wishbone,” I think this song plays a huge role in delivering the idea of happenstance and luck, but also the heart break that Gray feels upon understanding that just like these superstitious ideas, the love he may have felt toward this significant other may have also just been an idea of the mind.
For me, this song is like one last “push,” a final attempt at trying to salvage what once was of this relationship before Gray ends the album.
Care
On an album, the last track is just as important as the first, if not the most important. This is the final thing listeners hear before they’ve heard the record as a whole work of art.
On “Care,” Gray makes a final confession: “There will always be parts of me that are yours.” As hard as he’s tried to forget and move on, he simply can’t let go of everything that once consisted of this relationship.
Most importantly, Gray is reminiscing on the times before the relationship even began; he states that he won’t miss being a lover, but he is “still losing a friend.” He no longer wants to linger in the past, but it’s really hard to hide his memories of the person he is singing about.
As the album comes to a close, Gray ends on a bittersweet note: “I tell myself that I’m over you, but I care.”
